30 years of punk? wot tripe

REPRINTED FROM A ZERO HOUR 'RANT' SHEET, LATE SUMMER 2006.
This is the 100th time we have had to endure the retelling of the same old myths and legends about the punk 'year zero' that are always reprinted word for word every 5 years. some articles are the same ones used every anniversary, or they use the same edited passages from books that tell the same story.
This year probally saw the anniversary machine at its most shameless, and without doubt the greatest piece of cynical worthy tat had to be the 30th 'events' that were held in selfridges of all places, these 'events' even included a make your own fanzine cover day! like a class of seven year olds given a sheet of paper ond some crayons.
the organisers also used this spectacle to herald the opening of selfridges(ahem) 'alternative space', plu-leese! does this mean that anyone not wearing a dior dress or a savile row suit wont be followed the moment they walk through the door anymore? no, i doubt it either, more likely it will become a hangout for the likes of ozzy osbournes spoilt flabby brats and their ilk. and, who said that 1976 should be the year we look back on as the year of punks 'birth' anyway? its not as if it was the most productive, at least not in england where only four bands even managed to get a single out. even then they only just made the 76 release dates late in the year, just in time to cement their punk credentials for all time (guest lists, queue jumping, young girls and free drinks all round!) "dont you know who i am?" what happened to 1977? for a long time that was the 'year zero' of punk, i even have a broadsheet sunday supplement featuring the "fifth anniversary of punk" it came out in 1982 as an anniversary of 1977.
on its cover was even a picture of of a top scary punk geezer, father theresa himself, bob geldorf (ooh, dangerous). and anyway who changed the 'year of punk' from 77 to 76 , and when and why? plus, this 'year zero' bollocks ignores the bands, UK,U.S and IRISH who carried on after 78, as well as ignoring the new york scene which had been chugging happily away for a couple of years by then and who's bands had allready reached the LP stage by then (76). and what of the likes of the mc5, stooges and the n.y dolls?
The other aching bollock in this anniversary industry is the way the punk scene is neatly rounded off as having died a quick neat death in 78/79. these dates only signify nothing more than the start and end of the media's interest in punk music. for example, while the 5th anneversary mob was mourning the 'dead' scene, punk bands were filling venues throughout the 1980's, venues like the lyceum ballroom, capacity 3000+. and over the last 10 years the british islands have seen a new energy hit the scene, one which has brought out some of the best and most original bands in years. yet like the decent U.S bands they just get dumped in the bin marked 'oi' and forgotten about so room can be made for those truly dreadful U.S bands that are being rushed off the production line at breakneck speed.
you know the ones, the blink 94's and yer sum 1+1's.
And god, have you heard'good charlotte'? i swear, whoever let them loose deserves to be given to one of those old time gangsters who enjoys popping peoples toes off with bolt cutters! and as for those 'cbbc' hairstyles that they all seem to have? i can only say fuck off!