CRIMINAL RECORD N3 -HARRY TOLEDO AND THE ROCKETS

CRIMINAL RECORD N3
HARRY TOLEDO AND THE ROCKETS -BROKEN CHEVROLET 7'EP.
Evening all, the record that is being hauled in front of the eyes and ears of the esteemed and worldly judge today is an e.p, recorded in the supposed heyday of punk in 1977. and being released at a time when there was some great records about makes this 7 inch of vinyl stand out even more as being one of the most rubbish records we have had the amusing time reviewing as part of our 'criminal record' articles (see the paper fanzine for more criminal records), so far we have among others reviewed the stunningly awful VENUS AND THE RAZOR BLADES, plus the whopping load of shit that is the debut and probable last single by the terrible RIKKI AND THE LAST DAYS ON EARTH (why do all these shit bands have long names?).
And now it is the turn of HARRY TOLEDO AND THE ROCKETS. the single starts off promisingly enough with its vivid yellow cover that holds the bands name in suitably punky style and it is accompanied by an angry young man holding his guitar as if it is a tommy gun ready to shoot down the old guard of dinosaur rock, yeah!,
the single comes out of the cover and in the centre is another little piece of artwork that adds to the records image of punkiness, then the record goes onto the turn table, the first of the four tracks is called 'busted chevrolet', of the song, it starts with a tinny guitar riff and is soon added by a drum beat that sounds like the kit it is made of cardboard, the beat plods along at a slow pace till 'harry' (i assume its him) jumps in to the fray with his vocal talents singing angrily about the broken objects in his chevrolet and somehow managing to make the lyrics for all the broken car parts rhyme terribly, after listing all the broken parts we are pleaded with to help him fix his car. for fucks sake! the song never reaches a plod faster than syd barret on a good day very shortly before his meltdown, it is a m.o.r speed song that is produced by JOHN CALE who must of been asleep during the session because,
the next song, called 'yo-ho' is a white reggae song of the type that was popular at the time with artists as diverse as 10cc and e.l.o, if ever there was a song that reduced something of the cultural pride that the jamicians have in their reggae history then this song is it, it uses baby gurgling type vocals (bad jamiacan accent) with the weakest ever beat i thought possible, and you cant even tell if they are even using a bass! just that 'rink, rink, rink, scraping guitar noise and "oh oh oh oh" backing vocals, terrible.
side 2's opener 'who is that saving me? tips a nod in the punky direction with its opening riff until it decends quickly in to a solo before the vocals start when the music slows down ruining the song, until the vocals stop agin and the song is over.
then its the last song 'john glenn' (wasnt he an astronaut?) now this really is shit, its a 'ballad' (i use the term loosly) and then turns into a song that sounds like it came from a bad musical, i cant tell you just how bad this song is.
my advice would be to steer well clear of this steaming pile of shit at all costs unless you find a copy very cheap (like me) and play it to your friends for something to laugh at on a rainy day, that is how bad this waste of vinyl really is , its just.... 100% shit. go harry!!!