THE TOP 10 WORST PUNK SONGS EVER.

WELCOME TO THE CHART OF THE 10 WORST PUNK RECORDS EVER (or so i say) THE RECORDS LISTED BELOW ARE POSSIBLY THE WORST TO EVER HIDE BEHIND THE NAME 'PUNK'. AND TO THEN GET AWAY WITHOUT BEING FLAYED AND FLOGGED AS THEY SHOULD OF BEEN IS ONLY JUST MINIMALLY LESS SINFULL THAN THE 10 TYPES OF POOH WE HAVE GIVEN YOU, LET US START WITH NUMBER 10 AND COUNT DOWN, WITH THIS LOT THERES NO GOING UP ANYWAY! SO HERE WE GO.............

10) CRASS- '10 NOTES ON A SUMMERS DAY'.
this single was crass' 'goodbye' single but sounded more like a fuck off to the fans. it came out as a double sided one song 12 inch single, it sounded like the band had tried to mix freeform jazz with crass' music and bad operatic warblings, but even cleo lane (and of course, husband johnnie dankworth) wouldnt of been able to save this pile of shit, not a chance.

9) D.I.R.T-'OBJECT REFUSE REJECT OBUSE'.
This group were/is (did they not take the laughable decision to reform?) the worst of the early/mid 1980's crass-a-like bands, and this e.p prooves it. the song rumbles along in a rolling noise of distortion and feedback while a man screams to be overheard over this crap noise, then a woman jumps in and likewise tries to sing above the barrage but she only succeds in straining her voice till it squeals like a mouse being slowly squashed, it sounds like a band recording on a 'talkie' tape machine while a fully operating car plant goes about its business and whops out the cars in the production line as the band play, getting in the way of the man who puts the wing mirrors on. awful.

8) BLITZ- NEW AGE.
Before this record was released every new blitz record was treated almost as an event, blitz were seen as such a great and original band. that was until this record was released, the record was/is a 'new age mood music keyboard album. if they had used a different name i wouldnt of minded but bringing it out as a BLITZ record was a low trick to get people to buy it. a terrible waste of a good band. mind you when i saw their photos on their first single i thought there was something afoot because punk rockers and skinhead's are not supposed to have mostasches, well i dont think they should, call me old fashioned but.........

7)PLASTIC BERTRAND- ANYTHING BY HIM.
According to legend this man started life off in a 'proper' punk band before leaving to start his own carreer as a 'fun punk' playing punk music your gran could dance to. the result was that as well as all his records being shit, they all sounded the same. this man is a crime against music.

6)THE EJECTED- HAVE YOU GOT 10P?
It doesnt matter if this lot were taking the piss or not because they helped to drag punk into the gutter however briefly and bring shame on all punk bands with this dross, you only have to listen to the lyrics to cringe. its that bad its funny.

5)SHAM 69- POOR COW.
I dont know what was going through their heads when they wrote this m.o.r 'ballad', maybe they were trying to proove to the world they could write proper songs, if so they failed. the lyrics are a confused bundle of words about a 'poor cow' sung as(and in the video posed as) a crooner in the dean martin style only very low rent and bad, why?.

4) JET BRONX AND THE FORBIDDEN- I CANT STAND IT.
This is the 'punk' band that once boasted the inclusion of the man with the talking nose, mr lloyd grossman. this record sounds like it was recorded in time to a slowly ticking metronome (and if you listen closly you can hear it) the song plods at a slow pace and never goes anywhere, twithout doubt this is one of the worst records to hide behind the punk name just for the sake of sales.

3)HARRY TOLEDO AND THE ROCKETS- BROKEN CHEVROLET.
the 4 songs are played at an m.o.r speed throughout. its Utter shit from start to finish.

2)RIKKI AND THE LAST DAYS ON EARTH- CITY OF THE DAMNED.
Now this record is one of the worst ive ever heard in my life, it is slow, plodding and very badly written. i just cant understand how the label owners felt that this record was good enough for people to buy, punk fans or not, because it is just so terrible and........bad.

1) VENUS AND THE RAZOR BLADES- PUNK-A-RAMA.
I dont know where to start with this one, its name implies that it is a call to arms to the 'punk generation' but when you put the record on you cant escape the feeling that a bunch of hippie session musicians had been told to cut their hair rip their jeans and become a punk band by monday, and just to give them a taster they were given a copy of 'piss factory' so they would know what punk was. thrown together by rodney bigenburger, the u.s version of john peel, they were one of the worst bands ever, for all our sakes lets hope they dont jump on the 'reform bandwagon'.

well, what do you think? do you agree or have i slagged off your favourite record? or have i left something out (im sure i have)? contact the blogzine and tell me what you think if you can be bothered. bye bye, my backs killing me.