DRINK, DRINK , DRINK....

Hello, i don't know if anyone of you have seen the book of Russian alcohol drinking recipes that's out (i cant remember the name but any bookshop will know what you mean if you ask for a copy), i mention this because of a recipe i liked very much and advise you to try (don't, i was joking, it will kill any non Russian stone dead) the appetising recipe is an easy one and would go down well at any crusty dinner party.
i will call this recipe the 'polish Russian', it is easy to prepare and takes overnight so be careful with that dinner party timing! but i digress, to make this appetising 'drink' takes only minutes but will have your guests talking about it for a long time to come (and it is a real tried and tested method in Siberia).
to start, one takes a slice of cheap white bread, then taking a knife you plunge it into a tin of boot polish (any colour will do) and you spread a great wadge onto the bread as if it were a child going mad with the nutella. next, once the bread is totally covered it should be placed in the freezer (or in the snow if you live in Russia), ideally the bread should be left in the freezer for at least 12 to 14 hours so that the polish has frozen solid. once the polish has reached zero then it will have frozen and the polish's alcohol will have dripped down into the bread. take the slice out of the freezer when you feel it has 'matured' enough and, taking up your knife again you scrape off all the polish off the bread and 'hey presto' you are left with a slice of bread that will not only get you rat arsed it will probably put you in hospital giving you lots to talk about. spread and enjoy!
p.s, this is real and shouldn't be tried by anyone not fed special brew as a baby or it could cause harm, but at least it wont make you blind! copies of the 'Russian drinkers cookbook' are available in you local bookshop, if not then demand they order you a copy, or try amazon (who sell anything from harry potter books to vibrating butt plugs).