..."IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE, YOUR REALLY A BLOKE"...("a bloke, your really a bloke").....

While I'm still here i thought i would share some of my recent thoughts and questions that i have in my head.
It all started one day this week just gone when i had put on one of those tacky compilation Cd's you get, you know the ones, the 'compilations' that have basically all got the same tracks except for two or three that are on a different compilation elsewhere, and have covers featuring 'angry young men' flicking a 'v' at the camera.
The CD i have is called 'OI!' and features a lovely photo of a skinhead flicking a 'v' at the camera ("hmm, what an original idea for a compilation cover, just like the CD i have of a punk doing the same thing into the camera" called 'punk'!) not unlike a thousand others i would imagine. Either that idea or others that have a title that features the word 'street', 'punk or oi' in it somewhere.
Anyway, the one i was listening to had the song 'transvestite' by PETER AND THE TEST TUBE BABIES on it, and as i sung along to it while i was doing what i was doing (an innocent pursuit, honestly) i began to think about the transvestites that regularly appear on programmes like
'the Jeremy 'El DUCE' kyle show' and 'Trisha', and i thought how most British trannies seem to look like builders dressed up in their dead aunties old clothes for a laugh.
Yet the ones in America (north and south) seem to do a better job of it by at least having long legs or a feminine face, the northern ones go for the shlock look with the big green wigs and camp it up by shreeking all the time and calling everyone 'honey', where as the ones in the south stand on street corners hoping for someone to whisk them away like, eddie murpty or hugh grant.
They, like their northern counterparts have even got realistic breasts! (at this point mr mccarthy i would like to point it out that i have never had a sexual interest in men in dresses and do not now).
Then that got me thinking about the 'ladyboys' in the far east, now some of them really do look like women! (i also have a couple of 'my mate snogged a bloke in drag' tales that although amusing, are too long winded to bother here) and that made me think that there isn't a place in the world that doesn't have men dressed up in drag walking the streets in sight of us all.
But, then i noticed that there was a big hole in my global thought map, the area that i wasn't sure of was kind of on the eastern side of the Mediterranean and around that area, about that part of the world the nearest to a man dressed in drag i knew or heard of was the sex change wo/man who won the eurovision song contest.
But i wondered why there was no trannies in that part of the world? surely there must be! even using the law of averages says that in the throng of city life there must be at least one or two men dressed up as a lady, after all it must be transvestite heaven there, a place where men can wear clothes that hide their male shaped bodies and even masks! that means that a transvestite doesn't have to shave off his goatee beard or moustache if he didn't want to, what could be better?
yet why do we not hear of or see men dragged up like that? or do we?
You see that's the beauty of being a transvestite in that style of clothes, because no one would be able to tell if it is a man or woman that had just passed them in the street,
"of course" i thought, "that's why there has been such a rise in people wearing that style of women's fashion here, its because the trannies could wear a mask and thus not have to shave off their beards and so keep up the 'straight' pretence while with mates or at the workplace" (unless they are 'out' of course and don't feel the need to hide it).
And still a man could could manage to go out with his favourite dress, beard covering mask and bright eyeliner unnoticed, even by his own family.
Then s/he could go out without fear of ridicule and shake that handbag while 'giving it large baby' and also let the feminine side come flooding out while thinking "you go girl", it must be quite liberating for the transvestites of that particular region and the ones here.
and we westerners have yet to hear of or take advantage of it (but then i don't read gay or tranny mags so i could be wrong and it could be a known fact and a popular transvestite holiday haunt).
I must confess that all of the above was thought of in the time it takes for one song to stop and another to start, because in the space of nothing more than a second i had stopped wondering about the 'transvestite question' and was thinking about writing to wattie buchan of THE EXPLOITED because of the lyrics of the Cd's next song 'computers don't blunder'.
I was going to ask WATTIE to come round to mine and fix the one I'm using because somethings up with it, and WATTIE sounds like he knows his 'windows' from his 'bytes' judging from what i can understand from the lyrics of the song, but maybe hes busy, who knows?
it was when the next song came on, 'summer holiday' by THE 4-SKINS that i tried to think of THE 4-SKINS sharing a big red bus on holiday together with (sir) CLIFF RICHARD and what a great time they could have together, they could have a right good old sing song at the back of the bus together while on their way to the beach, and once there what a fun time they could have together playing British bulldog and volleyball.
this was when all that quick fire thinking started to give me a headache, so i stopped thinking and turned it off, scaring myself about what would happen to my mind when THE BLOOD's 'stark raving normal' came on.
so i turned it off and read a book instead, my imagination really can frighten me at times!
bye.