SMOKE ON THE WATER with the bob and midge show

Just a quick one.
i was bestride my iron horse yesterday cycling to where ever i was going and i got stuck behind a bus, every time the 'square' double decker bus moved, a big huge cloud of choking black smoke came bellowing out, and as i was thinking that it was time that the bus needs a service i looked at the writing on the back that took up the whole of the back end, and if i wasn't coughing so much i would of laughed because the blurb said "England goes smoke free July 1st".
Talk about taking the piss, one day of that bus would surely pump out more poison than a lifetime of what a smoker could blow out, i say that the SUB-HUMANS should write a new song about it, seeing as smoking used to be/is? their favourite songwriting topic, that would put things right!
And while I'm here, why isn't ST BOB of Africa and his trusty aide MIDGE URE not out making preparations for a live aid style 'event' for all the poor people of England who have had to contend with six feet of nasty flood/sewer waters filling their homes with lumps of pooh floating through their living rooms and sticking to furniture when the waters recede? where are they? (most probably carrying their gold discs up to the attic because the mansions they live in are near a flood plain (twenty miles away).
So c'mon chaps lets get the 'BOB and MIDGE backslapping show' going again and get your 'mates' in the 'do-gooder pop set' out so they can play an 'event' with all their hearts so we poor flooded peasants can rebuild our lives with your unselfish 'concerts' (TV rights and copyright pending).