WEVE MISSED SO MUCH....

Since ZERO HOUR became the unwitting victim in a case of service provider fuck ups we have missed some truly historic events, ones that ZERO HOUR should of been in the middle to report on, but then we were still hoping the Internet companies would be true to the promises they had made, now we know better but, is ZERO HOUR too late? i was even hoping that we could do an article on the 30th anniversary of the death of the burger king (what with that publicity hungry 'peoples princess being so selfish that she had to die on ELVIS' 20th and spoil it for 1000's of elvi who were all togged up and waiting for the TV cameras, only to find them filming weeping grannies leaning over Teddie bears and reading 'touching' goodbye messages from young kids too young to know who she was, outside her palace home, peoples princess indeed.
But fear not because we have our own version of punk rock 'royalty' in the shape of the GOOD CHARLOTTE singer getting married to spoilt junkie brat NICOLE RITCHIE, its going to be stretch limo's, bodyguards, top hotels and private jets from now on for our 'punk royalty', well in AMERICA celebs are treated with the same reverence that royals get in other countries, so its feet up for our lucky 'punk',
I wonder if we can expect a duet from LIONEL RITCHIE and GOOD CHARLOTTE doing an emotion charged version of OTIS READING'S 'dock of the bay' or something llke it?
on the plane of reality that me and you live in its not been all boring, did you see the programme about 'fat' people the other night? people so big they cannot turn in bed. one lady described how any traces of her 'fecal matter' could cause bad illness's in her and another woman sat next to her naked bed bound blob looking husband and bragged about the "great sex" they had together, it was as sad as it was horrific, it was on TV for its 'yuck' value I'm sure.
But during the adverts i was treated to an informative ad that was hoping everyone watching the TV was a complete moron because the product actually promoted its self with the claim that it contained nothing less than '50% OXYGEN!!!' what a selling point! and i know i wasn't imagining it because i wasn't alone and those with me heard it as well.
While out doing some shopping i passed a cafe with outside tables, one table was taken up by two tanned euro ladies who looked all pristine in their designer clothes and just as i was about to pass a BIG ISSUE seller approached the women and brazenly said "big issue ladies? i know its shit so you don't have to buy one from me and i will just take your 'donation'" hmmm, something was wrong with this scene... but the bogus BIG ISSUE seller was gone in Milli seconds when the ladies gave him a snooty 'go away' head swish.
and finally i hear that COURTNEY LOVE is going under the knife to correct the fuck ups done by previous plastic surgeons, this is not going to be an easy job, after all the surgery has gone through some hard knocks since it was done (by applying the previous 'surgery' with a trowel while her skin hung over the back of her head' if the photos are to be believed of course, but her kid 'mung bean' must be at that age where the other school kids are taking the piss out of her mum so for the kids sake an improvement is made.