"ENJOY YOURSELF......"

I had a chance to look through a Sunday tabloid from last weekend and what a goldmine of daft stories it contained, my favourite article was one about our nations teenagers and one of their latest crazes which just goes to show that they are not the 'thickos' that they are portrayed as being. in fact they have shown themselves to be imaginative and resourceful.
Take the kids in Sussex, they have discovered that if you set fire to a wheelie bin and then stand by the burning plastic fumes and breathe it in then a high will be obtained.
Now, how clever is that? i doubt its addictive (and even if it was you would probaly be dead before you got that far) and its cheaper than the drugs that the nation is knee deep in.
Imagine, the kids don't have to keep stealing big lumps of meat from Tesco's and then going round pubs trying to sell it before it defrosted anymore (especially handy in warm weather), or mug people or rob houses, and they wont leave 'tell tale' bits and bobs in the pockets that mum would find when washing the kids clothes, plus, the little fuckers will be stuck at home living on a mixture of an oxygen mask and an iron lung within six months, thus saving us all from their presence ever again (apart for when they are 'aired out' once in a while in their wheelchairs), what a mine of undiscovered genius's there are out there wasting their lives on skunk, alco pop's and school.
And another story that has less of the 'wow' factor but is none the less interesting is the news that THE SPECIALS, including grumpy faced TERRY HALL will be playing again, the only thing is that it wont be for us peasants but for the millionaire CRYSTAL PALACE chairman's birthday party, the chairman must of offered silly money to get TERRY HALL to play with them again because he has always bluntly refused to have anything to do with any SPECIALS reformations before, lets hope ol' grumpy bollocks TERRY HALL likes it enough to grace us with a gig or two in the future, a one off tour before never doing any more would be a thought, mind you their gigs without HALL have been really good and have included really good covers of CLASH songs among others, but then again, maybe HALL doesn't 'do' songs by other contemporaries of his, just his dad's.