YOU 'AVIN A LARF OR SUMMINK!?! (A.K.A- GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT)

I have been half watching the re-development of the near-by Muslim prayer centre that was squashed between a 140 year old pub and a dusty old off licence, anyway, the prayer centre bought out the offy and used the new space to expand the centre. the irony of a teetotal prayer meeting being held while the 'faithful' kneel prostrate where the white cider and the special brew was for years stacked wasn't lost on me, but then at the weeks beginning i heard about SAINSBURYS daft new rules that say Muslim check out till staff don't have to touch containers that have alcohol inside them. If its OK to 'high five' ALLAH and MOHAMMED (peace be upon them) in an ex-off licence where booze has seeped into the very concrete and brickwork then why is it insulting ISLAM to touch a glass or metal container with drink sealed inside it?
And how many muslims own shops that sell drink? lots.
And if it is the done thing to 'respect' religious rules then SAINSBURY'S had better get their 'godly' calenders out because the Muslims could refuse to handle pork, kosha food, and anything non halal. likewise Jewish staff could refuse to touch pork or halal food, or anything that isn't kosha. Catholics could refuse to touch meat on a Friday and Presbyterians could refuse to do anything during their shift on Sundays, as could they all, plus all Christians could refuse to touch anything non christian at anytime (as a show of faith), and what about those who consider the cow to be sacred, they should be able to refuse to touch beef and stuff that contains its 'by products', its only fair after all.
then there is the vegetarian pagans, and the Buddhist's. then there's Sufi's and Zoroastrians (they must be anti something foody),
The list goes on.
And of course all faiths should have their holy day off with full pay.
The floodgates have opened now, and to avoid accusations of bigotry SAINSBURY'S could have to adhere to just about every ones godly biases, no matter how irrational, it is only fair.
Just imagine the length of the check out queues!
see you in Tesco! ho ho.
('Bing bong') "staff are reminded that there is a baby eating VOO-DOO ritual in isle nine right now, would all zombie staff please meet there in five minutes by order of the management, thank you" ('Bing bong').
P.S. and i forgot about JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES, if they cut them selves badly on a glass jam jar at work, then are they going to be left alone and be allowed to bleed to death in peace as their faith requires? and can RASTAFARIAN'S go for spliff breaks? and what about 'new age' believers in 'mother earth'? can they have a daily hour off to hug the trees in the car park or have a primal scream session once a week "to release the negative vibes"? and what about those who treat the eating of animal's a heresy? can they refuse to sell products with animal/insect/fish by-products in them? (likewise, Muslims & Jews regarding pork fat in foods), the list is endless, almost as long as the queues, the only people going in there will be Buddhist monks practising patience while standing in the queue!
this could go boringly on but i will stop there... for now, ha ha ha!