OI, NUTTER!

Now, normally i wouldn't even bother to mention something as dull as the divorce between PAUL MCCARTNEY and the one legged, one time porn model and 'actress' (sorry, 'charity worker') HEATHER MILLS.
And i must admit that i haven't spent much time reading about it because basically i just don't care and it has no reason to be in ZERO HOUR, but i admit i have seen a couple of 'lost-it' looking photo's of her while she was in full 'rant' mode and have heard about her supposed crazed appearances on UK and U.S TV shows last week.
All this divorce nonsense would of been totally ignored by me and i would of never have written a word about the whole thing on ZERO HOUR, that was until ZERO HOUR had its very own scary 'MUCCA' moment (i have noticed enough to know she has been dubbed 'LADY MUCCA' by the press.)
Anyway, my own 'mucca-moment' came one day recently while i was on my way cycling somewhere, and i was passing through the filthy rich, star studded area of WARWICK AVENUE when i dropped the hat i was holding, so i stopped my cycle and sort of 'toddled' my way backwards to where the cap was. As i bent down to pick it up i heard a 'thud' on what i thought sounded like glass, so after i picked up my cap i looked behind me to where the noise came from and saw a flashy sports car with steamed up windows (as if a kettle had been left on in the car) all except the front passengers seat window, which had the steam partially wiped away, and in its place was the face of MRS MUCCA herself, staring madly at me.
Her face was pushed right against the glass as she leered at me with a mad look in her eye, she was looking pale, gaunt, angry, she was or had been crying and looked fucking mad! her face had gone more 'wonky' than usual and she was staring at me like some kind of deranged killer or something.
I was momentarily spooked by the ghost like face at the window but took a double turn as i realised it was her, so i just waved my cap at her and said in a loud voice "don't worry, I'm only picking up the hat Ive dropped" and with that i had it away double quick, and i swear she didn't stop staring at me till i was long gone down the road, she had even hunched herself up to look at me through a 'peep-hole' wiped into the windscreen (never look back they say, and now i know why).
What a nutter! the wrinkly old BEATLE must be glad to be shot of her, she has even compared herself to LADY DI for god's sake (at least people liked DI), and has even said that her pain is the same as that couple of DR'S who are top of the suspect list in the case of their missing little girl MADELINE, (innocent or not i wouldn't want to be in their shoes, not for all the tea in china). LADY MUCCA is not in touch with reality it seems, she complains about constant 'press intrusion' yet phones up newspapers and TV companies offering to give (sell) interviews! she even thinks that wimpy old MCCARTNEY might have her 'whacked' and openly says so.
This woman is in need of some serious help and is crumbling in front of the press who are loving every minute, but is also quite sad and scary for her kid to watch her mum cracking up.
That's all i ever intend on saying on the matter, this sort of gossip is usually beneath ZERO HOUR, its only because of ZERO HOUR'S own 'MUCCA MOMENT' that Ive bothered.