CHRLTON 'MOSES' HESTON IS DEAD!

MOSES 'HESTON' DEAD!

News has just reached the hairy ears of ZERO HOUR concerning the 'sad' news that MOSES HESTON the prophet of Hollywood gun violence has just died age 681.

Moses first rose to fame in the old testament when he came down from out of the gun club with the commandment "no gun control". And even though he will be best remembered as the prophet of violence it is also worth noting that Moses was also well known for playing the critically acclaimed role as a well known Hollywood actor and after dinner speaker.

Born in 1584BC MOSES HESTON or as he was known then 'AB'N HUR' started out on the road to ever lasing fame when he appeared in 'The Greatest Show The World has ever seen' playing a blood obsessed nutter who left his gun out so that children could pick it up and shoot each other in the face. When the body count had risen to uncountable proportions Moses decided that the whole world should hear the word of violence and own a gun. It was while he was saving up his shekels to buy yet more guns that Moses found the land of milking honeys and took up the part time job of pretending to be an actor, he found himself playing the role of the rabid blood lusting 'Charlton' in a series of public engagements for the NRA where he would go on to make a remarkable amount of bloodthirsty speeches, most notably when he uttered the famous line "from my cold dead fingers" while holding a gun in the air, which would go on to make Moses rich while everywhere could be heard the spilling on the ground of bullet casings.

After many years of wearing an obvious nylon wig Moses retired into his home high on the holy hills of Hollywood to spend all his time shooting his AK47 at pinko scum, it was here that he finally bowed to the inevitable and consented to let 'God' take up his soul into the holiest of holy shooting galleries where he could spend the rest of eternity looking down on the world through his high powered telescopic sniper sight.

MOSES HESTON aged 681 wont be missed.