MEET JULIE...
The lovely lady who is pictured here is none other than the fragrant miss JULIE BIRCHROD, she first found fame in the mid 1970's along with her then husband TONY PARSNIP when the 'happy' couple first answered an advert in 'JACKIE' magazine that was looking for "Two hip young muckslingers" who would go running to the tabloids with their freshly printed hip credentials as soon as possible.
As soon as the couple moved to the media 'big leagues' their marriage hit the rocks due to the stress of fame, money, too much cocaine and ego's that were too big to share one home. While TONY went on to work for the WALFORD GAZETTE, JULIE gained employment at the English language version of DER STERMER ( THE TIMES in English). it was in the 1980's while she was employed at this august tome that BURP-ILL further embraced cocaine, right wing politics and going to bed with ugly women, famously being quoted that she "wishes she could go to bed with MAGGIE" (a reference to the then 'dictator for life' Mrs MAGGIE HATCHET), in an attempt to both piss off her now ex husband and to also look 'trendy'.
It was after BIRCHBARK had ended her affair with the bearded lady of the north that she found a new rekindled love in the teachings of MARX'. Spell bound by the endless outdated prattle in MARX' work about 'peasants toiling in the fields' she went out and bought herself the palatial 100 acre spread which came complete with its own 50 strong team of down trodden serfs on England's south east coast.
Renewed every morning by the sight of her own pet starving poor people as she threw open the curtains, BERKHERE went on to re-invent herself yet again as a champion of the huddled masses. And it was so that with what turned out to be her last line of cocaine (because her nose fell off) that BUMPILE decided to return to her roots and once again take up the 'trendy again' lost cause of punk rock, her first assignment as a renewed 'punker' was to have this photo taken in a 'pastiche' of her favorite MAX SPLODGE t-shirt 'bingo calling'. And it is in the guise as a born again punker that BITCHFRILL has decided that she would produce the occasional lump of meaningless drivel for none other than ZERO HOUR.
So watch out for the first in her new columns in none other than your super duper ZERO HOUR (ta-dah!)
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