THE SID AND NANCY-GATE CONSPIRACY.

    WHO KILLED NANCY? -THE 'TRUTH'

As well as the full paper zine, ZERO HOUR used to occasionally produce what were called 'Rant sheets', these were single sided A4 sheets, usually on single topics or bands, they tended to be on the sarcastic side, like the "Your 'no' rights" one that was based upon the lyrics of the CLASH'S 'Know your rights' tune, but was about the rights we don't have, they were just supposed to be amusing handouts to be read between bands, nothing more, just time fillers with (hopefully) a laugh.

Anyhow, the one re-printed below is about who killed Nancy Spungen? (I re-discovered this one by sheer fluke, I'd forgotten all about it. But after reading it I decided to re-print it as part of ZERO HOUR's ninth anniversary 'celebrations').

This sheet was originally printed at a time before the SEX PISTOLS had reformed 'proper', and when the Conspiracy world was first coming to the attention of the wider public at large via the net, and was also influenced by the more extreme gossip surrounding 9/11, and the mad conspiracies about all sorts of mad stuff that were then doing the rounds. 

This was the ZERO HOUR attempt at inventing a ludicrous conspiracy story as mad as any of the hundreds of disturbed peoples conspiracy videos that are featured on You tube. So here we go with........ 
                              WHO KILLED NANCY? -THE TRUTH REVEALED.

      An amazing new theory has reached ZERO HOUR which if true would shake (rattle and roll) the music world in a way not known since a bearded ELVIS PRESLEY was found alive and well in 1992,  working in the gardening section of a Texas Walmart (on reflection, the "died taking a dump" excuse was genius, while we were all too busy laughing he was able to slip away unnoticed, very clever).

It has been said that if enough of this Nancy conspiracy guff is swallowed, then in under 24 hours, a genuine, steaming conspiracy will emerge, stinking of intrigue!

Enough intrigue in fact to send the rock world spinning right round baby, right round, in a way not seen since the Dorking Odeon banned scandalous dancing in the isles to Bill Haley's 'Rock around the clock' film in 1956. And it would mean that life would never be the same again for the ex-SEX PISTOLS, their families and even their Bromley based 'Contingent', and any other poor innocents  closely connected with the band and it's members.
ZERO HOUR was shown the damning evidence  that was stumbled across by chance in a shop visited by a mysterious 'middle' man known only as 'Mr Ben', who said he came about it "while away on a trip".

ZERO HOUR was shown the evidence by the PISTOLS fan who had been researching what for him has become something of an obsession for the best part of five years now.
The death of NANCY SPUNGEN has always been surrounded with mystery, until now when the obsessed fan believes he has stumbled upon the truth of what happened on that fateful night at the Chelsea hotel. And the fans obsessive quest has led him to the shocking conclusion that it was the SEX PISTOLS themselves that did it, even leaving a trail of blatant clues both before and after the planned murderous act.

The shocking evidence can be boiled down to a short series of clues that all point in the same direction, i.e. when all put together they conclude that the PISTOLS themselves are the guilty ones.

Without revealing the fans identity, ZERO HOUR has been allowed to print extracts of the evidence that he has been gathering for the New York prosecutors office, they are,

1) All the band members admitted to hating her, guitarist STEVE JONES (who was the first PISTOL to meet her) has even gone on record as saying "I knew she was a wrong'un from the start, even when I was giving her one in the bogs of a club. I didn't like her".

2)Those with most to gain from the whole horrid affair were the band and record label, especially manager MALCOLM McLAREN who made a roaring trade with his 'SID is innocent' merchandise. And later his 'SID is dead' line.

3) McLAREN revelled in the motto "create hell and get away with it", did he, from a distance, literally create hell and murder in the hotel room that night because he knew he would get away with it while being back home in the U.K? the perfect alibi.

4) The band had admitted to trying to get rid of her many times, LYDON/ROTTEN admitted he had dangled her out of a window by her ankles, was this an aborted early attempt on her life that was halted because there was too many witnesses?

5) LYDON was in the U.S. at the same time as SID, and STEVE JONES was soon to follow, going first to New York. In the I.T.V. cop show 'The Bill', the criminals always return to the scene of their crimes. Ditto the PISTOLS??

6) Was NANCY'S murder a dark SITUATIONIST 'prank' dreamt up by punks unholy trinity of back-room movers and shakers BERNIE RHODES, MALCOLM MCLAREN and JAMIE REID? All were known to have Situationist sympathies, but did they go too far?

7) Did the song 'The great rock'n'roll swindle (rumoured to have been co-written by McLAREN and REID along with the band) actually predict and reveal upcoming events? Take for example the line "I'm a jealous God and I want anything and I'll love you with a knife, I'll take you if your ready for me, and I'll give you my life". Were those lyrics just McLAREN/REID and the band gloating or, did SID who was even then preparing himself for 'punk martyrdom', write the line knowing what was going to be done? And, were the original lyrics to the 'Swindle' singles B-side changed to Who killed 'Bambi?' from Who killed 'Nancy' because even the ever gloating McLAREN  feared that it was a boast too far?

8) Did some of the lyrics of the COOK/JONES penned tune 'Silly thing' give away hidden feelings of guilt over their treachery? (I am sure I need not repeat the lyrics here).

9) And the most damning evidence is on the SWINDLE LP's remixed version of 'Anarchy in the U.K.'. When it is played backwards, slowed down, and with the help of a mixing desk, the words at the part where LYDON/ROTTEN sings "(...I want to) bee-e anarcheee" sound exactly like the words "kill NANCY".

Pretty compelling huh? When last heard of, the obsessive fan was waiting for a hearing at a New York asylum to decide if he was safe enough (with others and himself) to be allowed into the outside world, but non the less, any new emerging news on this intriguing theory shall be bravely reported about by your super-duper stagger-away ZERO HOUR punk zine.

Shockingly compelling stuff.